The crisp autumn air kissed Lily's rosy cheeks as I adjusted her tiny knitted hat. She cooed softly, her bright eyes taking in the fiery reds and golds of the trees above. "What do you think, Lily"? I asked, more to myself than to her. "Is this the kind of life I want for us? Stuck in a corporate job I never loved, while you grow up too fast?"
She gurgled in response, her little hands tugging at the rug my mother crocheted. I smiled, but the ache in my chest wouldn't go away.
I'd spent over a decade climbing the ladder in marketing, doing everything by the book. But now, with Lily in my arms, the thought of returning to that world felt unbearable. The long hours, the endless emails. It all seemed so empty. I wanted something more. Something creative. Something meaningful.
"You deserve a mum who's happy, don't you, sweet girl?" I said, brushing a lock of fine hair from her forehead. "But where does that leave us? What am I even good at?""
The thought lingered, heavily, as we returned home. That evening, after Lily was tucked in her cot, I found myself scrolling aimlessly on my laptop. One click led to another, and soon I was deep into a world of beautiful interiors; warm, inviting spaces filled with light and personality. I felt excited and uplifted.
"Mark", I called out to my partner, who finishing the kitchen after our dinner. He turned, drying his hands. "What if I didnt go back to work? What if I did something else?""
He raised an eyebrow but didn't laugh, which I took as a good sign. Like what?
I hesitated. "Interior design", I admitted, almost sheepishly. "I know it sounds crazy. I don't have any qualifications, no experience but its something I can't stop thinking about. I look at these spaces, and I just I want to create them."
Mark crossed the room and sat beside me. "It doesn't sound crazy", he said, surprising me. "But how would we make it work? We've got Lily now and face-to-face classes would be tough."
"I know", I said, my shoulders slumping. "I was thinking the same thing."
He rested a hand on mine. "What about online courses? Self-paced ones? You could study while Lily sleeps or in the evenings. It wouldn't be easy, but it could be doable."
The idea struck me like a spark. "Self-paced", I repeated. "I hadn't thought of that."
Mark smiled. "You're good at figuring things out. If this is what you want, you'll make it work."
Later that night, after Lily's soft breathing filled the nursery, I sat back at my laptop. It didn't take long to find courses that fit the bill: affordable, flexible, and filled with the kind of content that peaked my excitement.
As I clicked enrol, a thrill of nervous excitement coursed through me. "We're going to make this work, Lily", I whispered into the quiet. For both of us.